Two years later and I still have nightmares about MVC (Minnesota Vikings Cheerleaders) tryouts. Two years! I will probably have them all my life. Ideally, after I'm done having kids I would like to try out again (if I can get my body back) so I'm sure they'll keep coming. And man, will that be scary, being 30-something and having had kids, surrounded by a bunch of 21 year olds with perfect bodies. But the oldest NFL cheerleader is 41, so if she can do it, I can at least try out.
Mostly the nightmare centers around me needing a new costume days before tryouts (when it's pretty much impossible), or forgetting parts of my costume, or forgetting choreography and getting yelled at and told I suck (which does not happen at tryouts).
The nightmare got me thinking about the pre-tryout meltdown, which usually happens in the week before actual tryouts. Any time I've ever had tryouts for a professional team, this happens. Any other girl I've talked to at tryouts will admit she had one too. Someone sets you off (usually a family member or your spouse or boyfriend) and you start crying hysterically and everything in your life seems impossible.
There are a couple reasons for this. One, you're on a strict diet. Which means no comfort food and when you're already stressed, steamed broccoli does not make you feel better like a fudge brownie would. Two, you're in the gym almost every day so you're exhausted and now you're worried that you only have a few days left and your body isn't exactly perfectly right. You've been doing hair and makeup and nails and photo shoots and tanning and dancing (all this costs a ton of money too) and trying to get everything exactly perfectly right for months now, and it's finally occurred to you that in two days (or whenever) everything is going to end.
It only takes a few hours for someone to squash the four/five months of hard work you did. A huge chunk of girls don't make it past the first day. You'll probably be one of them, even though you did everything you could. You might as well have skipped the whole thing and spent the last five months watching t.v., eating Cheetos and drinking beer.
Once you get past the meltdown, you feel better, and you realize it doesn't matter, you did everything you could do and it's up to them now (and you not to screw up). Once they announce the first cuts and you have to go home, you're almost relieved--at least now you know. These past few months have been really stressful and you wonder if you'd be crazy to put yourself through a whole year of this while on the team.
Then you get home and you're sad because your dream didn't come true and you'll have to wait a whole year before you can try again.
But hey, at least you have a super banging bikini body for the summer :)
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Fall Cleaning is Awesome!
Today I am gearing up for the annual big fall house cleaning. Maybe you aren't a neat freak, or maybe you've never attempted Fall Cleaning. So I thought I would include my list of things to clean for those of you who didn't grow up in an uber clean family.
1. Clean the fridge--throw away the old leftovers, things that have expired. Then I take everything out and wash the shelves with hot soapy water. If your fridge has a funky smell (and you don't have old leftovers) this will take care of it. If it smells musty, use some bleach in your water. This year I'm taking on our downstairs fridge as well, which has been neglected for a very long time. It's rusty and moldy. Should be fun...
2. Pull out your appliances (fridge, stove) and clean and mop behind them. Same with furniture-move it away from the wall and vacuum behind it, then dust the woodwork. If you have allergies, this is a great place for dust to hide so getting rid of it will only help you.
3. If you usually dust around knick-knacks, pull them all off the shelves and dust under them. Take everything off your kitchen counter and get rid of the crumbs (a bug attraction) and if the tops of your kitchen cupboards are exposed, clean up there too. Also dust light fixtures, ceiling fans (they get so gross) and if you have mini blinds wipe them down well. I also walk around with a duster and hunt for spider webs in every corner and nook and cranny. Fall is when spiders move into your house for the winter so if you can get rid of them now, it will help you later.
4. Clean closets. I don't know about you, but I love my house neat and I have an issue with throwing things in a closet to get rid of them temporarily. So every few months my closets are a total disaster. Every fall and spring I go through them and throw away things I don't need or use (or donate to charity). Try on all your winter clothes from last year and if they don't fit or you don't wear them, toss them! It's a great way to keep from collecting too much junk over the years. Do linen closets, hall closets, bathroom cabinets, bedroom closets and basement closets. I don't have a full basement, but I have a closet under the stairs. If you have one of those or a full basement, take everything out and sweep and mop it out, then get rid of as much as you can and reorganize it in there. I did this in the spring with my under the stairs closet and I was good and didn't mess it up, so I probably won't do it again this time.
5. Sweep out and organize the garage. This one is self explanatory.
6. Wash all the windows and glass on the outside of your house. You'd be amazed at how dirty these get, especially if you live in the city.
7. If you have any holes in your lawn, plant some fall grass seed. I don't have to clean my gutters (I don't have any, weird, they built my house cheap!) but if you do, clean them too. Also I clean all the tracks in my doors--patio and front doors. I look for holes around the door seams too, where bugs can get in and I caulk them shut.
8. If you have a wood burning fireplace and want to use it, call a chimney sweep. Chimney fires are very common. If you burn damp wood, it smokes a lot and all that creosote builds up in your flue. If you don't clean it, it will suddenly ignite and burn off--which is not an issue unless your chimney has cracks in it or the insulation has broken off--that's how the fire gets into your house, usually your attic.
9. Check out your furnace before you turn it on--a woman near Three Lakes just lost her home and suffered burns because she turned on her furnace for the first time without checking it. Take off the panels and clean the dust and lint off the parts inside, check the belt and replace the air filter. They recommend changing the filter every month during the winter, but if you have a nice furnace or get expensive filters I think once a year is fine. Unless you have allergies--then you should do it more or get a HEPA air filter. You can also hire someone to come in and check the furnace. If you haven't cleaned it and your furnace is more than 5 years old, I would definitely do that.
10. Dirty clothes dryers are a big cause of house fires. I say this every six months, but CLEAN YOUR DRYER!!!! Check out your venting system--if your vent is more than 20 ft to the outside of your house (I think the rule is add 5 feet for every bend in the pipe) then you could have serious lint issues in your dryer and hose because you're not getting enough suction and then because it's not venting well it gets too hot and can spontaneously combust. This happened to a friend of mine and she nearly lost her home in the fire that resulted. Take the hose off your dryer and take a look at how much lint is building up. If you don't think lint is that flammable, they use it in homemade bombs as the ignition.
11. When you're cleaning your dyer, clean your washer. Washers build up E-coli and mold and other nasty stuff. Fill it up with hot water (no detergent) and add a quart of bleach. Allow it to run on its longest wash and spin cycle. Fill it back up with hot water and a quart of distilled white vinegar and run it through the longest wash and spin cycle again. Now it's clean! You can also take out your bleach/additive dispenser and soak it in warm vinegar water to clean it.
12. If you have pets and don't wash their bowls a lot, this is a good time to clean out all the slobber and gunk.
13. Fish tank. Enough said. *blech*
14. Check for cracks in the silicone around sinks and toilets and tubs and fill them. If you don't scrub the foot of the toilet or behind it much, do that too.
15. If you still feel like cleaning after all this, detail your cars! :)
If you have a husband who is willing to take on half this list, delegate it to him. But if you're me and you get *paid* to stay home and take care of this, have no fear. Girls can do house repair stuff and clean appliances too! If you don't know how to do something, just Google it :)
1. Clean the fridge--throw away the old leftovers, things that have expired. Then I take everything out and wash the shelves with hot soapy water. If your fridge has a funky smell (and you don't have old leftovers) this will take care of it. If it smells musty, use some bleach in your water. This year I'm taking on our downstairs fridge as well, which has been neglected for a very long time. It's rusty and moldy. Should be fun...
2. Pull out your appliances (fridge, stove) and clean and mop behind them. Same with furniture-move it away from the wall and vacuum behind it, then dust the woodwork. If you have allergies, this is a great place for dust to hide so getting rid of it will only help you.
3. If you usually dust around knick-knacks, pull them all off the shelves and dust under them. Take everything off your kitchen counter and get rid of the crumbs (a bug attraction) and if the tops of your kitchen cupboards are exposed, clean up there too. Also dust light fixtures, ceiling fans (they get so gross) and if you have mini blinds wipe them down well. I also walk around with a duster and hunt for spider webs in every corner and nook and cranny. Fall is when spiders move into your house for the winter so if you can get rid of them now, it will help you later.
4. Clean closets. I don't know about you, but I love my house neat and I have an issue with throwing things in a closet to get rid of them temporarily. So every few months my closets are a total disaster. Every fall and spring I go through them and throw away things I don't need or use (or donate to charity). Try on all your winter clothes from last year and if they don't fit or you don't wear them, toss them! It's a great way to keep from collecting too much junk over the years. Do linen closets, hall closets, bathroom cabinets, bedroom closets and basement closets. I don't have a full basement, but I have a closet under the stairs. If you have one of those or a full basement, take everything out and sweep and mop it out, then get rid of as much as you can and reorganize it in there. I did this in the spring with my under the stairs closet and I was good and didn't mess it up, so I probably won't do it again this time.
5. Sweep out and organize the garage. This one is self explanatory.
6. Wash all the windows and glass on the outside of your house. You'd be amazed at how dirty these get, especially if you live in the city.
7. If you have any holes in your lawn, plant some fall grass seed. I don't have to clean my gutters (I don't have any, weird, they built my house cheap!) but if you do, clean them too. Also I clean all the tracks in my doors--patio and front doors. I look for holes around the door seams too, where bugs can get in and I caulk them shut.
8. If you have a wood burning fireplace and want to use it, call a chimney sweep. Chimney fires are very common. If you burn damp wood, it smokes a lot and all that creosote builds up in your flue. If you don't clean it, it will suddenly ignite and burn off--which is not an issue unless your chimney has cracks in it or the insulation has broken off--that's how the fire gets into your house, usually your attic.
9. Check out your furnace before you turn it on--a woman near Three Lakes just lost her home and suffered burns because she turned on her furnace for the first time without checking it. Take off the panels and clean the dust and lint off the parts inside, check the belt and replace the air filter. They recommend changing the filter every month during the winter, but if you have a nice furnace or get expensive filters I think once a year is fine. Unless you have allergies--then you should do it more or get a HEPA air filter. You can also hire someone to come in and check the furnace. If you haven't cleaned it and your furnace is more than 5 years old, I would definitely do that.
10. Dirty clothes dryers are a big cause of house fires. I say this every six months, but CLEAN YOUR DRYER!!!! Check out your venting system--if your vent is more than 20 ft to the outside of your house (I think the rule is add 5 feet for every bend in the pipe) then you could have serious lint issues in your dryer and hose because you're not getting enough suction and then because it's not venting well it gets too hot and can spontaneously combust. This happened to a friend of mine and she nearly lost her home in the fire that resulted. Take the hose off your dryer and take a look at how much lint is building up. If you don't think lint is that flammable, they use it in homemade bombs as the ignition.
11. When you're cleaning your dyer, clean your washer. Washers build up E-coli and mold and other nasty stuff. Fill it up with hot water (no detergent) and add a quart of bleach. Allow it to run on its longest wash and spin cycle. Fill it back up with hot water and a quart of distilled white vinegar and run it through the longest wash and spin cycle again. Now it's clean! You can also take out your bleach/additive dispenser and soak it in warm vinegar water to clean it.
12. If you have pets and don't wash their bowls a lot, this is a good time to clean out all the slobber and gunk.
13. Fish tank. Enough said. *blech*
14. Check for cracks in the silicone around sinks and toilets and tubs and fill them. If you don't scrub the foot of the toilet or behind it much, do that too.
15. If you still feel like cleaning after all this, detail your cars! :)
If you have a husband who is willing to take on half this list, delegate it to him. But if you're me and you get *paid* to stay home and take care of this, have no fear. Girls can do house repair stuff and clean appliances too! If you don't know how to do something, just Google it :)
Friday, September 9, 2011
9/11...Ten Years Later
Everyone is remembering 9/11 this week, since it's the big 10 year anniversary. Me, I watch the t.v. shows every year. Last year while painting our new townhouse it was literally all I watched on t.v. Now every time I think about that week I spent painting, I think of 9/11.
This year it's meant more. It always means something more when it's a big anniversary. I can't believe it's been ten years. It feels like yesterday. My husband wonders why I watch it so much, but it was the day my whole life changed. How could I not want to remember that? Sometimes I think he'd rather forget, but that's just how he is. He wants to forget everything bad and move on.
Ten years ago I could still technically say I lived here in Woodbury, but my house was empty and had a for sale sign slapped on the front yard. Most of the time I wish I had just stayed there until it finally sold in November. 2001 was a hard year for me. I had just graduated high school, which I had no desire to do. If I'd been thinking, I should have flunked out so I could go back a third year :) But since I had graduated my parents were finally free to do the thing they'd been desperate to do--move back to Wisconsin. How excited was I to be forced back to Wisconsin? Let's just say there is probably still a trail of my fingernail marks all the way down Interstate 94. At least this time we didn't move far, we were still in the Twin Cities, just on the Wisconsin side.
It might as well have been the other side of the world. We didn't have long distance or cable or Internet, so I was totally isolated out in the country. All my friends were away at college but even if they were still in the Cities I couldn't get a hold of them to hang out unless they happened to call me. My ex and I had a lot of angry conversations about why I hadn't called him to hang out and I had to repeatedly remind me that I couldn't.
As a member of the class of 2001, I felt like I was the only one not excited to go to college. It kind of seemed fun, but it didn't compare to wonderful, beautiful high school. The only good part about it was that I got to spend the days back in Minnesota, away from my parents, and forget the seventh ring of hell where I now lived. Yeah, I didn't get to live on campus. My parents gave me their car so I could commute. I was desperate for a new car, so I took the deal. Also commuting meant I could keep my job at Panera Bread and they were all I had left of Woodbury. They were like my other family, so I literally needed them after loosing all my friends.
My ex decided to join me at Northwestern in St. Paul. Okay, I might have twisted his arm a bit. I didn't want to be alone and I didn't want him off at some other school meeting hot girls. Now that we lived over a half an hour apart, school was the only time we could really see each other. Except this was college, not high school, and since we had totally different majors we had no classes together. The one time of day we saw each other was a half hour for chapel. He might as well have not been there, honestly.
College wasn't quite as horrible as I thought once it started. I still remember going to the State Fair a few days before with my ex, and I was kind of excited (of course I still lived in Woodbury at that point, so I was still a happy person). Since Northwestern was only a mile from the State Fair grounds, we'd gone to the bookstore to get our textbooks and then to the Fair. It was also our anniversary, so we were pretty happy. And then next week when school started, I still lived in Woodbury so I was still happy. There was only one minor issue when on Tuesday I only had one afternoon class and I forgot what time it started. I realized that it was starting in about five minutes when I was still at home (twenty minutes away) and panicked. I actually hit our mailbox with my car. It was a class I needed for my major (drawing) and I was looking forward to it so it was a big deal.
That weekend we moved and suddenly it was real--I had to leave Woodbury, the only place I'd ever been happy besides Three Lakes and Sheboygan. I was thrown into depression. Plus it was Labor Day weekend so I had three days to be miserable at the new house. I could still see Minnesota from my bedroom window, and all I remember is sitting in my window, staring at it.
By the time Monday, September 10th rolled around, I at least felt like I had this college thing down. I knew what time I had to show up on campus, where my classes were, what I had to do for them, and it wasn't so bad. The only bad part was that I had to live in Wisconsin. At least my car still had Minnesota plates. I could pretend.
September 10th I was actually wearing my I ♥ NYC t-shirt with a picture of the Twin Towers on it, which I found really ironic later. I also had on super low rise flared jeans and a sparkly belt, just for an idea of the fashion back then--back when the top parts of our jeans were so tight some of us were losing circulation in our legs and a lot of muffin top happened...wow that makes me feel old.
I remember that day so clearly because I got in a fight with my best friend that day. It was an email fight, since he was at UW Green Bay and over three hundred miles from me. It was a stupid fight--I made a joke about his new girlfriend, but without realizing it my joke had rung true and he took offense. After a few angry messages, we vowed to stop speaking to each other (at least until he broke up with that girl.)
September 10th, 2001 I thought, was the worst day of my life. I was so upset about our fight that I wanted to cry all day. We'd been friends our whole lives and never had a serious fight like this. I couldn't believe that this had happened.
I was still thinking about it the next morning as I got in my car and began my forty minute drive to school. My first class was at 8:40 and I was running late as usual. I should have left at 7:45 but it was almost eight now.
And then the whole world changed.
I always listened to KDWB on the drive to school. I usually flipped stations a lot, but I always started with KDWB. I think most people in the Cities between the ages of 12-25 listened (and still listens) to that station. I had just turned it on as I reached the bottom of our hill to turn onto the highway. It was 8:03 central time, I remember because I looked at the clock (I can still see it) when I heard the words come out of Angie Taylor's mouth--"Oh my God, another plane has hit the other tower!"
I gasped, my hand went over my mouth, and I got chills, but had no idea what she was talking about. It sounded bad from her tone of voice. She went on to describe that two planes had hit the World Trade Center, for those just tuning in.
I still had chills, but I thought this has to be a joke. A week earlier, KDWB had made a big deal that they were going off the air, forever. They told everyone they were shutting down and we were all upset, and it turned out to be a big prank. It was fake. I don't even remember what the point was, but I think they went off the air for about a second before they came back and said "Just kidding!!!!"
So understandably I thought this must be a joke, again. I was actually saying out loud, "this has to be a joke." And I thought, what a sick joke! I'm done with them, making up all this crap. As I crossed the bridge into Minnesota, about ten minutes later, they were still talking about it. And they sounded horrified, and I began to wonder if maybe, this wasn't a joke. So I changed the station, to see if anyone else was talking about this.
It was real. I had 12 buttons on my radio and every one of them was talking about it. All I could say was "oh my God" over and over. I could hardly drive. I don't think anyone could--traffic was horrible that morning. We were all inching along and no one noticed. Every car I saw was just staring ahead in shock. I went back to KDWB and Angie Taylor was wondering if this was some kind of accident. I didn't know how she could think that--two planes?!? No one hits something accidentally, twice. I knew that we were at war. I knew that someone had done this on purpose, I remembered the '93 attacks. But at that point, I didn't think anything else would happen.
I was crossing the 694/35E interchange when President Bush came on the radio with his famous speech from the elementary school in Florida. We were all inching along and I thought, everyone must be listening to this. Every station was airing it. When I heard him talk, I wanted to cry. I knew this was really happening.
I pulled into school at 8:50, and by that time everyone on the radio was buzzing that something had happened to the Pentagon, but they weren't sure what. An explosion, for sure. They didn't know more. I wanted to stay in my car, but by this time it was nearly nine and I was really late for class. It never occurred to me to not go to class, and I wish I wouldn't have. I wish I would have gone to the student lounge and watched t.v. so I could have seen everything happen in real time.
Just before nine, I burst into the silent classroom, near hysterical, and everyone looked at me like I was crazy. And then it hit me--they had no idea what had happened. No one in the dorm was allowed to have t.v.
"Hi, have a seat," our group leader smiled strangely at me.
"Don't you know what happened?" I gaped at her.
"What?" she still looked like I was nuts.
"Two planes hit the Twin Towers! Something's happened to the Pentagon! It's war! We've been attacked!" I announced to the class frantically.
I expected the class to break into hysterics, but I was met with more blank stares. Did they think I was kidding? I wanted to slap them. They did not understand what I was saying. I sat in my seat, drained. Our group leader went on with class. We were about to have prayer time, and some genius said "well, maybe we should pray for New York."
I could not understand the lack of reaction. Were they all stoned? Was I the only person awake in this room? My group leader asked me to explain what had happened again, since I was the only one who knew. And I told them again, but was met with no more of a reaction.
I was so frustrated. I couldn't wait for that class to be over, I had to know what was happening. As soon as we were dismissed, I booked it to chapel, where I would see my boyfriend. Chapel was required, the whole student body was supposed to be there.
By now it was eleven and most people knew SOMETHING BIG had happened. But no one was sure what, and there were still a ridiculous amount of people who didn't know anything had happened.
"How do they even put out a fire that high?" I asked my boyfriend.
"You didn't hear? They didn't. The towers collapsed," he said frankly, apparently having been in touch with the outside world.
"No way," I gasped, horrified.
"I swear, that's what they said," he put up his hands. "I haven't seen it,"
A girl sat down in the empty seat next to me and caught the end of our conversation.
"What's going on? What's everyone talking about?" she asked me.
"You didn't hear? Two planes flew into the Twin Towers and," I looked to my boyfriend for confirmation, "they collapsed!"
"Oh my gosh," she gasped, but didn't seem like she really understood.
The Dean of students got up, and started chapel by explaining to everyone what had happened to our country. People were still whispering about it, and after he'd said a prayer for New York, he went on with chapel. Out of everyone I'd seen on campus, he looked the most upset. He told us that after chapel, they would put down the video screen and stream live video from CNN for anyone who wanted to stay and watch. We'd be excused from class, if we wanted.
As chapel was dismissed at eleven thirty, the giant screen slid down, and my friend, boyfriend and I hurried down for a closer spot to it. Shockingly enough, people were actually leaving to go to lunch or class. The screen flicked once, twice, and then the first vision I saw was the shot from the helicopter at the smoking towers. The whole auditorium went silent. My friend and I clung to each other, while my boyfriend just sat there. The t.v. told us that indeed, the towers had already fallen. They showed the video of everyone running in panic as the south tower fell. I'll never forget that video--I haven't seen the exact version of it since. The shows always show part of it--but they cut it out before the end, because at the end there was a woman in a white suit hiding behind a taxi. I'll never forget her. And then they showed the north tower sinking down into itself like it had just given up life.
I couldn't believe they were gone. I'd always wanted to visit the Twin Towers, they were my favorite part of the NYC skyline. And now I couldn't--they didn't exist anymore.
My boyfriend, who was technically my fiance--I wore a diamond ring on my right ring finger from him--stood up after about ten minutes and said he was going to class. He didn't hug me goodbye, he hardly looked at me. The friend who was with me--she was his friend. They'd met in a class he had, even though she and I had the same major, and she didn't like me because she had a crush on my boyfriend. And she and I were hugging each other, watching this video, and he didn't even touch me.
Despite the horror of what was happening, I knew something was wrong then. Here I was pressed against a girl who I barley knew and we didn't even like each other (we became friends after that) and the person I was supposed to marry had treated me like a stranger when I just needed him to hug me and tell me it was going to be okay.
Finally I forced myself to leave the auditorium and I went to have lunch in my car and listen to the people on the radio talking about everything. I called my mom thinking she might not know, but she had turned on the t.v. and she did. I can't remember what she said. I can't remember a lot of the rest of the day, it's kind of a blur. I thought of my best friend who I wasn't speaking to and I wished that I could talk to him. His birthday was the next day and what a horrible day it would be now, and for the rest of his life he would always have to celebrate his birthday the day after 9/11. I remember in drawing class we went out on canoes on the lake to draw and I kept hearing sirens start all over the city and I would jump, thinking something had happened here.
By the time I went home, I remember walking to my car and thinking that something seemed so strange, the air was empty. I looked up at the blue, sunny sky (it was a beautiful fall day) and it seemed empty too--then I realized what it was. The planes were gone.
Ever since I'd moved to Woodbury, I'd gotten used to the sky being constantly full of jets. I remember my best girl friend and I walking through my new neighborhood in 1999, counting the planes. We were so enthralled with all the planes! I think we counted 12 in our ten minute walk. Eventually I got used to them, and when they roared overhead I barley noticed. Now all I could notice was their absence. Every flight had been grounded for safety.
That night at home I did nothing but watch t.v. All the shows were cancelled, we just watched 9/11 coverage. And I knew then, I had to write about it. I was taking notes as I watched, planning stories.
I've written tons of 9/11 stories since then. Some of them were just about 9/11, but most of them were stories I already had that would end up having some part of 9/11. But I realized this morning that I never wrote MY 9/11 story. I've told it many times, we all tell our stories. I've written parts of my story into my character's lives--I'm working on one right now where my main character is a freshman in college during the attacks, just like I was. But never just mine. So here it is.
Of course life went on, as it does. But I never felt normal again. I never felt safe again. I was now afraid to live in my country and that was something I'd never known. I hated those terrorists for taking my sense of security away from me. My fiance and I broke up a month later (almost to the day), and life changed drastically again. For two years I'd planned my entire life around him and now the rug was ripped out from under me. I had to start over. I made new friends at Northwestern, picked up some bad habits from my Panera friends. I drove by the Minneapolis skyline every day wondering if I would see a plane crash into one of those buildings.
I made up with my best friend by September 14th and we both agreed that in light of everything that had happened, our fight was really stupid. He broke up with that girl shortly after, and admitted that my joke had really been true, why he'd been so angry. People all around talked about patriotism, wanted to join the army. People who were in the reserves realized they were getting deployed--and I needled my now ex, because he had wanted to join the reserves until I talked him out of it. People who hadn't cared about President Bush before the attacks loved him now. My ex finished out the year at Northwestern, then transferred to the University of Minnesota. We tried to be friends until we realized we hated each other, and we just needed a break. We'd changed so much over the last year we couldn't be around each other anymore. We finally cut the apron strings.
We all moved on.
But every 9/11 and every time I see a show about it, no matter where I am, I always am right back in 9/11/01, in my car, at Northwestern, watching at home that night on t.v.
We will never forget.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Minnesota NOT Nice
I'm always one of the first (and sometimes only) ones to stick up for Joe Mauer. Not only is he my favorite baseball player, but he's a fellow St. Paul kid who graduated the same year I did. I sensed some anger directed at him from Twins fans before the mega-contract came in 2010. They were all accusing him of running after money because a deal wasn't done yet. They said "that jerk is gonna go to the Yankees. We hate him."
So he got the deal done, signed with Minnesota for the foreseeable future. Then, they said "that jerk is making too much money. We hate him."
Then he had the misfortune of having health issues at the beginning of 2010, and Target Field didn't quite click with him (did it ever click with anyone on our team, besides Jim Thome?) and everyone said, "that jerk got his contract and now he doesn't care."
Then he had the extreme misfortune of having off season knee surgery and showing up for Spring Training unable to compete, then to add insult to injury he got sick. Rumors of horrible illness began to float around, no one liked the explanation he and the team gave, and everyone wanted to know what was really going on. Then they said, "that jerk is going soft, he can't handle a little pain."
I truly didn't think that too many people felt this way in Minnesota. From 2004 (2001 if you followed baseball hardcore) until 2009, people were eating this guy up (yes, there was the knee stuff in 2004 but for the most part people still loved him). They were clamoring for him to befriend their sons and marry their daughters.
But then last night, I began reading the comments on "The Joe Mauer Story" as it's being referenced. There were over 200 of them.
And they were mean. Really mean. What I thought was more telling, was that you can "like" or "dislike" a comment. And a lot of people liked the negative comments. Not too many liked the few people who still supported Joe.
And I thought, when did I move to New York City? Last time I crossed the border to come home from Three Lakes, the statue of our great state was still displayed at the edge of the St. Croix. My phone's weather app still claims I'm in St. Paul.
Look, our season is done. I am always the last one to give up hope on a season, I was the only person at my job in 2009 who thought the Twins still had a chance. When we won the division after an amazing September. I haven't done the math on this season yet (you know, where the statistics of games left/games we are behind from 1st meet up and we're officially DONE), and I still think there may be a tiny bit of a chance left that a miracle could happen, but this season has been too historically bad. I don't think it's gonna happen.
I felt that this season was cursed from the beginning, because ever since Nishi suffered the broken leg in May, I felt that I could call out the players who were going to go on the DL next. And for the most part, I've been right. We've had horrible luck. I want someone to check the Minneapolis history books for Ancient Indian Burial Grounds underneath Target Field (seriously did someone check for that?!?) Or maybe someone buried a Torii Hunter or AJ Pierzynski jersey under home plate (this was the closest match I could think of to the Babe Ruth curse)? Maybe Nishi brought some bad "Kitsunetsuki" (Japanese witchcraft, thanks Google!) with him?
The thing is, it's been everyone. If I listed all the people who had been hurt, and all of their injuries, it would take up 10 pages.
But all anyone wants to talk about is Joe. I don't get it. It must just be because he's the most well known player and he's too quiet. People think he should be a vocal leader like Cuddyer, or Morneau. But that's not his personality! They didn't magically give him a personality transplant when he signed his first major league contract. So, if Joe was out there giving you all of his medical records and calling out teammates in the media and throwing bats at Umps, then you would like him? The way that people are acting now, they wouldn't care if his legs and arms fell off. They'd still expect him to be out there, hopping around on stumps, trying to bat with his teeth.
So this is what I came up with--I was discussing it with a friend online this morning. There is a thin line between love and hate. At the end of 2009, people loved Joe so much, there was nowhere for it to go but down. When you love someone so much, sometimes it's really easy to hate them just as passionately if they let you down.
That's a really crappy way to behave. Everyone is going to let you down, sometime. But if you read my previous post about the world going down the tubes, you see that really it's not surprising considering the level of morals we have now days. And I wrote that BEFORE the riots in London.
I could finish up with a lot of things. I've had neck issues in my life, and they're debilitating. So maybe that's why I'm not jumping on Joe this time. You can't function in regular life, much less play Major League Baseball. But everyone thinks he's being a baby and comparing him to Cuddyer. Hey, does anyone remember a week ago when Cuddyer had a neck strain and didn't play? Does anyone remember a little thing called the 2008 SEASON when Cuddyer didn't play pretty much the whole year because of...a broken finger? Why does everyone think this guy is God? He's had his issues, too. They all have. Stop comparing them. And don't accuse me of being a Cuddyer hater. I love Cuddyer, he's one of my favorite players besides Joe. I think he's done a great job this season. But I don't think that just because he's the best friend of the media, everything written about him should be so one-sided. Because people are listening to what the writers are saying and forming their opinions about what's going on, based on it. "Cuddyer is amazing, why can't Mauer be more like him?" That is all I've read this year. No wonder the fans are going to start thinking it.
Why can't Joe be more like Mike? Um, because he's NOT Mike? Just throwing that out there.
I finish with this, and I've said it before--before we run around lambasting people with pitchforks and torches on the Internet, let's remember that we're talking about real people here. Joe's not a super hero, he's a real person who can read and has feelings (and guess what, his family can read too) and none of you are helping the situation by verbally stringing him up from the nearest tree. One of the best comments I read was someone saying just that--No one is helping Joe by ripping him a new one publicly. He needs to know that people support him. He's had a stretch of bad luck--nothing more. He didn't get in a crazy secret car accident and then lie about it *cough* someone on our pitching staff *cough* or violate his contract by playing anything other than golf (Aaron Boone). He's not sleeping behind a bar in Dinkytown, out partying until 6am *cough* someone else on our team *cough* (in 2003-2006).
So let's all just lay off, eh? 2012 is a new year. Let's add some good karma to it by shutting up now.
PS. Maybe we should fire Bill Smith. If anyone should be taking heat right now, it should be him. Not enough people are saying that.
So he got the deal done, signed with Minnesota for the foreseeable future. Then, they said "that jerk is making too much money. We hate him."
Then he had the misfortune of having health issues at the beginning of 2010, and Target Field didn't quite click with him (did it ever click with anyone on our team, besides Jim Thome?) and everyone said, "that jerk got his contract and now he doesn't care."
Then he had the extreme misfortune of having off season knee surgery and showing up for Spring Training unable to compete, then to add insult to injury he got sick. Rumors of horrible illness began to float around, no one liked the explanation he and the team gave, and everyone wanted to know what was really going on. Then they said, "that jerk is going soft, he can't handle a little pain."
I truly didn't think that too many people felt this way in Minnesota. From 2004 (2001 if you followed baseball hardcore) until 2009, people were eating this guy up (yes, there was the knee stuff in 2004 but for the most part people still loved him). They were clamoring for him to befriend their sons and marry their daughters.
But then last night, I began reading the comments on "The Joe Mauer Story" as it's being referenced. There were over 200 of them.
And they were mean. Really mean. What I thought was more telling, was that you can "like" or "dislike" a comment. And a lot of people liked the negative comments. Not too many liked the few people who still supported Joe.
And I thought, when did I move to New York City? Last time I crossed the border to come home from Three Lakes, the statue of our great state was still displayed at the edge of the St. Croix. My phone's weather app still claims I'm in St. Paul.
Look, our season is done. I am always the last one to give up hope on a season, I was the only person at my job in 2009 who thought the Twins still had a chance. When we won the division after an amazing September. I haven't done the math on this season yet (you know, where the statistics of games left/games we are behind from 1st meet up and we're officially DONE), and I still think there may be a tiny bit of a chance left that a miracle could happen, but this season has been too historically bad. I don't think it's gonna happen.
I felt that this season was cursed from the beginning, because ever since Nishi suffered the broken leg in May, I felt that I could call out the players who were going to go on the DL next. And for the most part, I've been right. We've had horrible luck. I want someone to check the Minneapolis history books for Ancient Indian Burial Grounds underneath Target Field (seriously did someone check for that?!?) Or maybe someone buried a Torii Hunter or AJ Pierzynski jersey under home plate (this was the closest match I could think of to the Babe Ruth curse)? Maybe Nishi brought some bad "Kitsunetsuki" (Japanese witchcraft, thanks Google!) with him?
The thing is, it's been everyone. If I listed all the people who had been hurt, and all of their injuries, it would take up 10 pages.
But all anyone wants to talk about is Joe. I don't get it. It must just be because he's the most well known player and he's too quiet. People think he should be a vocal leader like Cuddyer, or Morneau. But that's not his personality! They didn't magically give him a personality transplant when he signed his first major league contract. So, if Joe was out there giving you all of his medical records and calling out teammates in the media and throwing bats at Umps, then you would like him? The way that people are acting now, they wouldn't care if his legs and arms fell off. They'd still expect him to be out there, hopping around on stumps, trying to bat with his teeth.
So this is what I came up with--I was discussing it with a friend online this morning. There is a thin line between love and hate. At the end of 2009, people loved Joe so much, there was nowhere for it to go but down. When you love someone so much, sometimes it's really easy to hate them just as passionately if they let you down.
That's a really crappy way to behave. Everyone is going to let you down, sometime. But if you read my previous post about the world going down the tubes, you see that really it's not surprising considering the level of morals we have now days. And I wrote that BEFORE the riots in London.
I could finish up with a lot of things. I've had neck issues in my life, and they're debilitating. So maybe that's why I'm not jumping on Joe this time. You can't function in regular life, much less play Major League Baseball. But everyone thinks he's being a baby and comparing him to Cuddyer. Hey, does anyone remember a week ago when Cuddyer had a neck strain and didn't play? Does anyone remember a little thing called the 2008 SEASON when Cuddyer didn't play pretty much the whole year because of...a broken finger? Why does everyone think this guy is God? He's had his issues, too. They all have. Stop comparing them. And don't accuse me of being a Cuddyer hater. I love Cuddyer, he's one of my favorite players besides Joe. I think he's done a great job this season. But I don't think that just because he's the best friend of the media, everything written about him should be so one-sided. Because people are listening to what the writers are saying and forming their opinions about what's going on, based on it. "Cuddyer is amazing, why can't Mauer be more like him?" That is all I've read this year. No wonder the fans are going to start thinking it.
Why can't Joe be more like Mike? Um, because he's NOT Mike? Just throwing that out there.
I finish with this, and I've said it before--before we run around lambasting people with pitchforks and torches on the Internet, let's remember that we're talking about real people here. Joe's not a super hero, he's a real person who can read and has feelings (and guess what, his family can read too) and none of you are helping the situation by verbally stringing him up from the nearest tree. One of the best comments I read was someone saying just that--No one is helping Joe by ripping him a new one publicly. He needs to know that people support him. He's had a stretch of bad luck--nothing more. He didn't get in a crazy secret car accident and then lie about it *cough* someone on our pitching staff *cough* or violate his contract by playing anything other than golf (Aaron Boone). He's not sleeping behind a bar in Dinkytown, out partying until 6am *cough* someone else on our team *cough* (in 2003-2006).
So let's all just lay off, eh? 2012 is a new year. Let's add some good karma to it by shutting up now.
PS. Maybe we should fire Bill Smith. If anyone should be taking heat right now, it should be him. Not enough people are saying that.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Our society is really in the trash
Tonight I watched a movie on ABC Family called Cyberbully. Emily Osment from Hannah Montana is the star. (Yes I have watched that show and liked it). Emily Osment is a rockstar. I always liked her a lot on Hannah Montana and loved her brother in any movie he ever did. But I really like her a lot more after seeing this movie. She did such a great job.
I've seen so many movies on bullying. I'm a sucker for those After School Special type movies. I was a kid who was bullied to the point of nearly having a nervous breakdown in junior high, so I know how evil kids can be.
But now it's really starting to hit me how much worse it is for kids now days. When I was a kid, you could go home (or in my case, run away to Three Lakes where these people didn't exist) and it would all be over until school the next day.
Now days, you can't escape it. It's everywhere these kids go because it's all over the Internet, and most kids have Internet on their phones and we all know anyone over 14 pretty much is surgically attached to their phone.
And it's so much worse on the Internet, because we all know we're so much braver when we're not face to face with someone. So we say things we wouldn't normally say. People spew horrific comments without thinking much about consequences, because let's face it--there aren't many.
When I think about how much worse it will be when my kids will be in school, it's enough to make me think twice about even having them. Because really, to put them into the world to deal with people like that? Even if I banned them from the Internet, there's no stopping some little brat from creating a fake page about them if there's some kind of tiff at school. So do I have to home school my kids to avoid this? Do we have to go Amish? My husband of course says the answer is Christian school, but hey, I went to a Christian school for college and my senior year in high school a few of them from the local school here joined our class. The only difference between Christian school and regular school is that everyone pretends to be nice on the surface and basically just lies about it. I'm not putting my kids into that environment. I'm not saying that all Christian kids are like this--but I'm saying that when kids are forced to go to Christian school they're pressured to display a certain image and that image is usually fake.
BUT this isn't really about that, I don't want to be on my Christian school soap box. Or maybe I do--I'm getting there.
Because I think that the problem lies with our society as a whole. I always wondered why my parents never warned me about how evil kids can be. Sure, they talked about teasing and bullies, but it never went to the scale that I experienced.
Tonight I realized that the reason my parents never warned me about this was because they didn't know. They didn't have these issues. In the 50s and 60s most kids didn't act like this. Those kids were raised with true Christian values, like "treat your neighbor as you would want to be treated." Sure there was teasing and there was always that kid with the switch blade who sat in the back of the room and dropped out at sixteen, but that was it.
I realized I was right about this when I remembered a conversation my mom and I had last week when we were in Three Lakes. We don't have cable, and we have this one channel that only plays old sitcoms. (Side note: now I know who Hazel the Maid is!) She was watching Father Knows Best and comparing it to tv shows now.
Of course there is no comparison. She pointed out that if television was like it is now in the 50s, no one would have watched it. They would have thought it was appalling. But we know how life is--people love controversy. So to keep people watching, tv has had to get more and more degrading over the years.
And then of course the 80s happened, when everyone got focused on their careers and most of us who were kids during that time were lucky to grow up with our parents at all--most of us grew up in day care and in front of the television.
So is it really surprising how we act? Look at what our teacher was. And shows weren't even that bad when I was a kid. Full House? Boy Meets World? Those were good shows. Now days what can families even watch together? I like Modern Family and Rookie Blue and Family Guy as much as the next person, but I'm not going to let my kids watch that. (Don't have any kids yet, wanna point that out).
It's even worse now because most parents have totally given up parenting. Let someone else raise their kids! They gotta work six jobs to be able to pay for their extravagant lifestyles. Those of us who grew up in the 90s, I think, got pretty spoiled with how good things were. The economy was booming and we had everything we wanted. I know I did. And then we grew up and thought, why should I wait until I'm old and lame like my parents to have cool stuff? I should have it now!
And from what I see lately, it's even worse with kids today. Those rich kids expect the world on a platter and no one ever tells them no. Am I the only one who is scared of what is going to happen when these kids grow into adults? No one is teaching them values, no one is teaching them about hard work. No one is saying NO.
And what does television teach us? Shows like The Real World and My Super Sweet Sixteen and Basketball Wives and all those shows that glamorize the rich and the celebrity (and drunken sexed up craziness)...it teaches us that unless we have designer clothes and drive a Hummer, we're nobody. We're worthless. And how many of us can really, truly afford that lifestyle?
Is it any wonder addiction and substance abuse are running rampant? I wouldn't like myself either if I thought I was nothing without those things.
And then, I began to pair the ideas of cyberbullying and our messed up society together and came up with a whole new link--paparazzi.
I know we all know how horrible the paparazzi is, especially after Princess Diana. We all know that buying tabloids and even looking at them feeds this frenzy. But do we stop? I'm just as guilt as everyone else, I'm always looking at the covers and reading the sites--I've even read thedirty.com. Some people really hate thedirty.com but I thought it was entertaining until I really thought about it. Those are real people that are up there (even if some of them are really shady people.)
But celebrities are real people too, and because they're public figures, that gives us carte blanche to say whatever we want about them, no matter how horrible? I've been reading up some on the subject recently and why do we think that so many Hollywood relationships fail? Because of all the rumors flying around the tabloids. Some of those are true but some are not and it just really messes things up for people. Yeah I think Hollywood has its own issues besides that. But being a public figure is rough business. Everyone is watching you and judging you.
And now, thanks to the Internet, if you hate a certain star, you can make a whole website about it. And if you think they'll never read it, guess again. We've all gotten bored and Googled our names to see what comes up, what makes you think celebs wouldn't do the same? Sure, they said they don't read that stuff, but they do. And at the very least, their families and friends do.
So where is our filter? Is our society just doomed to keep falling down the rabbit hole of degradation and hate? Recently there have been a lot of people pushing for gay rights--well how about human rights? How about all of us just treating each other like human beings and not just a pair of hands typing on a piece of plastic? People do have feelings, when you post hate on the Internet it gets out there. I've seen a lot of my friends talking about how people on the Internet trashed them just because they posted their opinion.
I'm going to try to stop feeding those sites. It's going to be hard, because I'm a female and ingrained to like gossip. But all it's doing is hurting people. And when fun comes at the expense of someone else, well, it's not really that much fun, is it?
Join me in loving your neighbor as yourself. Maybe we can turn this world around...
I've seen so many movies on bullying. I'm a sucker for those After School Special type movies. I was a kid who was bullied to the point of nearly having a nervous breakdown in junior high, so I know how evil kids can be.
But now it's really starting to hit me how much worse it is for kids now days. When I was a kid, you could go home (or in my case, run away to Three Lakes where these people didn't exist) and it would all be over until school the next day.
Now days, you can't escape it. It's everywhere these kids go because it's all over the Internet, and most kids have Internet on their phones and we all know anyone over 14 pretty much is surgically attached to their phone.
And it's so much worse on the Internet, because we all know we're so much braver when we're not face to face with someone. So we say things we wouldn't normally say. People spew horrific comments without thinking much about consequences, because let's face it--there aren't many.
When I think about how much worse it will be when my kids will be in school, it's enough to make me think twice about even having them. Because really, to put them into the world to deal with people like that? Even if I banned them from the Internet, there's no stopping some little brat from creating a fake page about them if there's some kind of tiff at school. So do I have to home school my kids to avoid this? Do we have to go Amish? My husband of course says the answer is Christian school, but hey, I went to a Christian school for college and my senior year in high school a few of them from the local school here joined our class. The only difference between Christian school and regular school is that everyone pretends to be nice on the surface and basically just lies about it. I'm not putting my kids into that environment. I'm not saying that all Christian kids are like this--but I'm saying that when kids are forced to go to Christian school they're pressured to display a certain image and that image is usually fake.
BUT this isn't really about that, I don't want to be on my Christian school soap box. Or maybe I do--I'm getting there.
Because I think that the problem lies with our society as a whole. I always wondered why my parents never warned me about how evil kids can be. Sure, they talked about teasing and bullies, but it never went to the scale that I experienced.
Tonight I realized that the reason my parents never warned me about this was because they didn't know. They didn't have these issues. In the 50s and 60s most kids didn't act like this. Those kids were raised with true Christian values, like "treat your neighbor as you would want to be treated." Sure there was teasing and there was always that kid with the switch blade who sat in the back of the room and dropped out at sixteen, but that was it.
I realized I was right about this when I remembered a conversation my mom and I had last week when we were in Three Lakes. We don't have cable, and we have this one channel that only plays old sitcoms. (Side note: now I know who Hazel the Maid is!) She was watching Father Knows Best and comparing it to tv shows now.
Of course there is no comparison. She pointed out that if television was like it is now in the 50s, no one would have watched it. They would have thought it was appalling. But we know how life is--people love controversy. So to keep people watching, tv has had to get more and more degrading over the years.
And then of course the 80s happened, when everyone got focused on their careers and most of us who were kids during that time were lucky to grow up with our parents at all--most of us grew up in day care and in front of the television.
So is it really surprising how we act? Look at what our teacher was. And shows weren't even that bad when I was a kid. Full House? Boy Meets World? Those were good shows. Now days what can families even watch together? I like Modern Family and Rookie Blue and Family Guy as much as the next person, but I'm not going to let my kids watch that. (Don't have any kids yet, wanna point that out).
It's even worse now because most parents have totally given up parenting. Let someone else raise their kids! They gotta work six jobs to be able to pay for their extravagant lifestyles. Those of us who grew up in the 90s, I think, got pretty spoiled with how good things were. The economy was booming and we had everything we wanted. I know I did. And then we grew up and thought, why should I wait until I'm old and lame like my parents to have cool stuff? I should have it now!
And from what I see lately, it's even worse with kids today. Those rich kids expect the world on a platter and no one ever tells them no. Am I the only one who is scared of what is going to happen when these kids grow into adults? No one is teaching them values, no one is teaching them about hard work. No one is saying NO.
And what does television teach us? Shows like The Real World and My Super Sweet Sixteen and Basketball Wives and all those shows that glamorize the rich and the celebrity (and drunken sexed up craziness)...it teaches us that unless we have designer clothes and drive a Hummer, we're nobody. We're worthless. And how many of us can really, truly afford that lifestyle?
Is it any wonder addiction and substance abuse are running rampant? I wouldn't like myself either if I thought I was nothing without those things.
And then, I began to pair the ideas of cyberbullying and our messed up society together and came up with a whole new link--paparazzi.
I know we all know how horrible the paparazzi is, especially after Princess Diana. We all know that buying tabloids and even looking at them feeds this frenzy. But do we stop? I'm just as guilt as everyone else, I'm always looking at the covers and reading the sites--I've even read thedirty.com. Some people really hate thedirty.com but I thought it was entertaining until I really thought about it. Those are real people that are up there (even if some of them are really shady people.)
But celebrities are real people too, and because they're public figures, that gives us carte blanche to say whatever we want about them, no matter how horrible? I've been reading up some on the subject recently and why do we think that so many Hollywood relationships fail? Because of all the rumors flying around the tabloids. Some of those are true but some are not and it just really messes things up for people. Yeah I think Hollywood has its own issues besides that. But being a public figure is rough business. Everyone is watching you and judging you.
And now, thanks to the Internet, if you hate a certain star, you can make a whole website about it. And if you think they'll never read it, guess again. We've all gotten bored and Googled our names to see what comes up, what makes you think celebs wouldn't do the same? Sure, they said they don't read that stuff, but they do. And at the very least, their families and friends do.
So where is our filter? Is our society just doomed to keep falling down the rabbit hole of degradation and hate? Recently there have been a lot of people pushing for gay rights--well how about human rights? How about all of us just treating each other like human beings and not just a pair of hands typing on a piece of plastic? People do have feelings, when you post hate on the Internet it gets out there. I've seen a lot of my friends talking about how people on the Internet trashed them just because they posted their opinion.
I'm going to try to stop feeding those sites. It's going to be hard, because I'm a female and ingrained to like gossip. But all it's doing is hurting people. And when fun comes at the expense of someone else, well, it's not really that much fun, is it?
Join me in loving your neighbor as yourself. Maybe we can turn this world around...
Friday, May 13, 2011
I'm not going to ignore my blog...?
Okay, quick post before I go home to Three Lakes for the weekend! It is strange to have only been back here two days before going back. But, yay. I don't have to drive because I'm freeloading on the 'rents so I can work. I have a lot to work on!
-Making a new logo for my father-in-law's "new" business. Long story. But it's fun.
-Making a map/ad page for my MNSS boss's LAX tournament.
-Writing more, of course. I have several stories that I want to work on, and a few articles that I NEED to work on.
-Plus I have a bunch of books to read!
Highlights/lowlights of the week:
Went to the Twins game on Wednesday. I won't say it was horrible because we seriously thought we were going to win. Until about the 8th inning. Speaking of the Twins, was so sad to hear about Harmon Killebrew this morning. I really thought he was doing OK from the last reports. I pray he will pass peacefully.
The weather has been...interesting. As usual. It's Minnesota/Wisconsin.
I think I might be gluten intolerant. Went of the diet a bit and had some bread. Still recovering from that. It was not pretty.
This weekend I am hopefully going to learn to build a deck. Yay, construction!
Well I need to pack, ASAP. I need to get on the road in the next 15 minutes. I sure hope I don't forget anything...
-Making a new logo for my father-in-law's "new" business. Long story. But it's fun.
-Making a map/ad page for my MNSS boss's LAX tournament.
-Writing more, of course. I have several stories that I want to work on, and a few articles that I NEED to work on.
-Plus I have a bunch of books to read!
Highlights/lowlights of the week:
Went to the Twins game on Wednesday. I won't say it was horrible because we seriously thought we were going to win. Until about the 8th inning. Speaking of the Twins, was so sad to hear about Harmon Killebrew this morning. I really thought he was doing OK from the last reports. I pray he will pass peacefully.
The weather has been...interesting. As usual. It's Minnesota/Wisconsin.
I think I might be gluten intolerant. Went of the diet a bit and had some bread. Still recovering from that. It was not pretty.
This weekend I am hopefully going to learn to build a deck. Yay, construction!
Well I need to pack, ASAP. I need to get on the road in the next 15 minutes. I sure hope I don't forget anything...
Monday, May 2, 2011
Do you remember 6th grade?
When was the last time you looked at your sixth grade yearbook? I'm looking at mine right now.
Wow. I can't believe how young we look--but most of us haven't changed much. That's the beauty of Facebook. The class of 2001 doesn't have to wait for our upcoming reunion this summer. Anytime we want to do a "Where Are They Now?" we just get online. I'd say 90% of the people I wonder about are on there.
As a Kid Who Moved Alot and attended two different high schools, I have the pleasure (?) of having not one, but two class reunions (actually 3 if you count my husband who is also a '01 grad). And both my classes are planning them through Facebook. It gives us the unique pleasure of giving feedback to our peers who are doing the planning--dates, locations, music, etc. Whereas my parents (whose graduate years I won't reveal but we'll say it was around Woodstock) just get a piece of paper in the mail with a date, time and location.
I ramble. My point is this--it's really strange to look back at people through adult eyes. Sometimes you wonder why you weren't friends with certain people--or why you were. Sometimes you wonder why you never got to know people who looked nice. Or why you never knew that the boy you had a crush on clearly *ahem* batted for the other team. Looking back, I wonder about that as I look at the teacher page as well. There was one teacher in particular (and I know all of you who went to SMS in the mid-90s know exactly who I mean) who we all KNEW something was wrong (she was a very masculine woman) but we didn't exactly know what that meant. That world wasn't really talked about until high school, and even then, it was Wisconsin. People didn't really go around bragging about it.
Wow, off track again. Who would have thought? Anyway, most people probably try to forget 6th grade, and all of middle/junior/senior high school. I'm not saying it was always a pleasant experience, but there are still fond memories. I've written about some of them on this blog. And they won't leave me alone.
I guess I'm stuck somewhere between ages 12 and 18. At least, that's what I keep writing about. One of my latest projects is about a boy in the sixth grade, at SMS in 1994. Hmm, wonder where that came from? It isn't really based on anyone I knew at SMS, in fact it's a little bit written if I had been a boy. He's definitely got some traits of my husband, too. It's a little bit hard to write from a boy's perspective, because even though I was always friends with the boys, I was still a girly girl. Sometimes I don't get how they think. For instance I asked my husband if my character thought about sex too much. His answer was "not enough."
Wow. I always knew guys thought about sex a lot, but at 12 I didn't think they thought about it that much. That was an eye opener.
One of my favorite authors, Sarah Dessen, said awhile back that if you like to write, then you should read what you write so you can see what your peers are doing. Which means every time I got to the library I'm in the Young Adult section. I'm only a little embarrassed, but I love to read that stuff. I guess I wouldn't write it if I didn't. But I didn't get to go to the library recently, so I was reading the things in my collection. What I have in my collection is from the late 80s and early 90s, but the boys are the right age. And the books are hilarious. I don't know if anyone has ever read Barbra Park, but she is probably the funniest author I've ever read. "Almost Starring Skinnybones" is one of the few books ever that has made me laugh out loud. If you haven't read it, I would suggest that you do. Even if you're an adult. Pretend it's for your kids even if you don't have any. You might someday.
So my dilemma is that a lot of books written for this age group are funny and not too much about what kids are really thinking about. I like to write about what they're really thinking and feeling. But when kids are really thinking about sex, how do you do that? Or do you just ignore it?
I haven't figured out what the balance is yet. I need more research.
So here's to the class of 2001, all the way back in 1994. Fist bump to those of us who had really, really big bangs.
Wow. I can't believe how young we look--but most of us haven't changed much. That's the beauty of Facebook. The class of 2001 doesn't have to wait for our upcoming reunion this summer. Anytime we want to do a "Where Are They Now?" we just get online. I'd say 90% of the people I wonder about are on there.
As a Kid Who Moved Alot and attended two different high schools, I have the pleasure (?) of having not one, but two class reunions (actually 3 if you count my husband who is also a '01 grad). And both my classes are planning them through Facebook. It gives us the unique pleasure of giving feedback to our peers who are doing the planning--dates, locations, music, etc. Whereas my parents (whose graduate years I won't reveal but we'll say it was around Woodstock) just get a piece of paper in the mail with a date, time and location.
I ramble. My point is this--it's really strange to look back at people through adult eyes. Sometimes you wonder why you weren't friends with certain people--or why you were. Sometimes you wonder why you never got to know people who looked nice. Or why you never knew that the boy you had a crush on clearly *ahem* batted for the other team. Looking back, I wonder about that as I look at the teacher page as well. There was one teacher in particular (and I know all of you who went to SMS in the mid-90s know exactly who I mean) who we all KNEW something was wrong (she was a very masculine woman) but we didn't exactly know what that meant. That world wasn't really talked about until high school, and even then, it was Wisconsin. People didn't really go around bragging about it.
Wow, off track again. Who would have thought? Anyway, most people probably try to forget 6th grade, and all of middle/junior/senior high school. I'm not saying it was always a pleasant experience, but there are still fond memories. I've written about some of them on this blog. And they won't leave me alone.
I guess I'm stuck somewhere between ages 12 and 18. At least, that's what I keep writing about. One of my latest projects is about a boy in the sixth grade, at SMS in 1994. Hmm, wonder where that came from? It isn't really based on anyone I knew at SMS, in fact it's a little bit written if I had been a boy. He's definitely got some traits of my husband, too. It's a little bit hard to write from a boy's perspective, because even though I was always friends with the boys, I was still a girly girl. Sometimes I don't get how they think. For instance I asked my husband if my character thought about sex too much. His answer was "not enough."
Wow. I always knew guys thought about sex a lot, but at 12 I didn't think they thought about it that much. That was an eye opener.
One of my favorite authors, Sarah Dessen, said awhile back that if you like to write, then you should read what you write so you can see what your peers are doing. Which means every time I got to the library I'm in the Young Adult section. I'm only a little embarrassed, but I love to read that stuff. I guess I wouldn't write it if I didn't. But I didn't get to go to the library recently, so I was reading the things in my collection. What I have in my collection is from the late 80s and early 90s, but the boys are the right age. And the books are hilarious. I don't know if anyone has ever read Barbra Park, but she is probably the funniest author I've ever read. "Almost Starring Skinnybones" is one of the few books ever that has made me laugh out loud. If you haven't read it, I would suggest that you do. Even if you're an adult. Pretend it's for your kids even if you don't have any. You might someday.
So my dilemma is that a lot of books written for this age group are funny and not too much about what kids are really thinking about. I like to write about what they're really thinking and feeling. But when kids are really thinking about sex, how do you do that? Or do you just ignore it?
I haven't figured out what the balance is yet. I need more research.
So here's to the class of 2001, all the way back in 1994. Fist bump to those of us who had really, really big bangs.
This pretty much needed it's own post
I forgot to mention in my previous "Where have I been?" post, I've been on a raw diet. This is a recent thing, only 7 days old. I also forgot to mention that I've been sick since...pretty much last fall. It's been varying degrees, but a few days after Valentine's this year it turned into a mysterious stomach problem and never left. Life pretty much was miserable. And then I learned about fungus. Candida yeast. Parasites. Things that cause inflammation in your body and cause a whole host of problems. When the worst of the problems started, all I could pin point any changes I had made to were getting off birth control (don't even get me started on that).
It's led me to so many other things. I went to doctors, they were all baffled. They all wanted to put me on drugs. One of them did. But they didn't really help. The drugs helped me sleep, actually, which wasn't what they were supposed to do but it was a nice side effect.
And all the while, I still felt like crap. On one of the last days before I cemented that I was going to go on a cleanse, I got in a fight with my husband which ended in me screaming at him "I feel like s*&! all the time!" in tears. Something had to change.
So I got a bottle of pills that would assist me in a parasite cleanse. I'd been watching a lot of natural health shows, who were talking about so many symptoms I had and said "Here is your problem--fungus."
Serious? I always had a feeling that some of what I was experiencing was related. But now I was finding out that pretty much EVERY health problem I've had through my life is related to one thing--my diet.
I'm a junk food addict. Proudly. Is it fried? Is it fake? Is it bread? Is it SUGAR? Gimmie. I want. I LOVE. As a child, I subsisted only on bologna, boxed mac n cheese and hot dogs. I was super fussy and also super skinny--my mom felt she had no choice. If I wouldn't eat it, she didn't make me. Sounds like a great start for a lifetime of bad habits, right? It was. Eventually I turned into a person who only ate chips, cheese, processed meats like bacon or salami, white bread and candy bars. Every meal was ended with dessert. Lots of it. Vegetables? Gross. Fruit, eh no thanks.
Needless to say, my digestive system was a mess. I suffered from IBS and Hypoglycemia, but it was manageable. Until I got off birth control. The sudden lack of synthetic hormones in my body threw it into a tailspin. It was the perfect storm for my bad eating habits to truly show what I had been doing to my body. But modern medicine had no answers. At one point, doctors questioned if I had thyroid disease. It was awful. Everyone was guessing and no one could help. One doctor wanted to do a scope because he wanted to know if I had celiac disease. But that cost $8,000 (or 20% of that for me--still outrageous). And then it started getting more disturbing--it started affecting my mind. I could forget things in seconds. I would stand in front of the fridge or in the middle of rooms for several minutes unable to remember why I was there. And memorizing dance routines? Forget it. Not to mention in the weakened, undernourished state my body was in it was impossible for me to keep up physically.
The doctors did have one answer for me, however. So this started when you got off birth control? Then get back on it.
Uh, what? Get back on the synthetic hormones that getting on and off started all this crap in the first place? No thanks!!! Not to mention the fact that we'd like to start a family. Taking birth control gets in the way of that, eh?
Traditional medicine, obviously, could not help me. So I turned to natural medicine. And a whole new world was opened to me that I never realized existed. A world in which, everything is connected. And you don't fix it with drugs from pharmaceutical companies.
In the last month, I've learned about olive leaf. Black walnut husk. Activated charcoal. And fungus, Candida yeast and parasites. I learned that when you eat products with yeast in them, well-what does yeast do? It expands. It expands in your body and causes inflammation and that in turn causes damage. And what feeds that yeast once it gets started? Sugar. Alcohol. Processed food. And what causes that yeast to just go gang busters, reeking havoc on your body? Oh...hormonal changes like getting off birth control.
Holy crap. Other symptoms of yeast due to bad diet? Excema. IBS. Hypoglycemia. Mental issues. Acne. Pretty much everything else I had. All this time, it was all connected.
At first I was very angry at doctors for not saying anything about this. Here I was, having digestive and endocrine issues and no one ever asked what my diet was!! (It was chocolate cake). But then I realized if I was going to fix it, I was going to have to treat myself.
Enter the cleanse. At first, it was scary, looking at that list. Pretty much the first thing on the list was NO SUGAR. Not even fruit. Nothing. Not one drop. Also, no processed food (chips, salami, deli meat), no alcohol, no bread, no yeast, no vinegar, no molds or fungus (cheese, mushrooms, most dairy), no fats that were solid at room temperature (ham, bacon, butter)--no to everything I lived on! My only food options were vegetables, legumes and lean meats like fish, chicken and beef.
It's amazing how many vegetables you can eat when the choice is eat vegetables or be sick. It's amazing how fast you can develop a taste for healthy food. I'm not saying it was easy. By the middle of the first day I wanted to break. I didn't know what I was doing. Not eat any of the food I loved? ANY of it? No chocolate? I can't do this. I can't. But I had to. Whenever I felt weak I thought of how sick I had been. That usually got me thinking healthy pretty quick.
It's now been 7 days. My stomach is better--not like it was before I got sick but I can tell that it's actually absorbing nutrients now and for 3 months it just flushed everything right out. I expect that if I did have a scope a doctor would say I was celiac. But in natural medicine, they don't call it that. And in natural medicine if you cleanse and let your body heal from the damage, then you can eat gluten again in moderation. It might be six months. But you can have it again.
Pretty much all of my other symptoms are gone too. I haven't had hypoglycemia issues--now I'm just hungry, not close to death. My skin has cleared up. It's stopped itching. I don't get exhausted after lunch. I'm not depressed. My lung issues aren't bothering me. I have more energy. I've lost seven pounds--and that's not from being sick. I knew something was wrong when I was so sick, and I didn't lose ANY weight. Now I'm feeling better and not eating junk and I'm losing weight without trying. Slowly, my brain is coming back to me. And my taste for bad food is pretty much gone. I tried to eat some cheese this weekend. It tasted like straight up mold. I had to eat vegetables to get the taste out of my mouth. Last night I made stir fry and it was delicious. A month ago if you had told me I would enjoy stir fry with only veggies, brown rice and beef, I would have told you where you could stuff those veggies.
I have also learned the joy of ethnic food--I've dined at Afghani and Ethiopian restaurants and they were wonderful. Most of the things they serve on their menus are things that are right in line with my diet and-surprise-they are delicious. Six months ago I wouldn't have touched an ethnic restaurant--I wouldn't even have drunk their water. I thought Applebee's was a safe place to eat. Now I know better.
Okay. One of my new blog resolutions was to make things shorter. Ooops. What I am saying is that if traditional doctors can't help you, don't think you're sunk. Keep searching yourself. Natural medicine is amazing. Your diet is affecting you more than you know. Go on a sugar fast. It's amazing how much better you will feel even after a short time. I can't wait to see how much better I feel in a month. Also, spend time praying to The Great Physician.
Good luck from a former sugar addict!
It's led me to so many other things. I went to doctors, they were all baffled. They all wanted to put me on drugs. One of them did. But they didn't really help. The drugs helped me sleep, actually, which wasn't what they were supposed to do but it was a nice side effect.
And all the while, I still felt like crap. On one of the last days before I cemented that I was going to go on a cleanse, I got in a fight with my husband which ended in me screaming at him "I feel like s*&! all the time!" in tears. Something had to change.
So I got a bottle of pills that would assist me in a parasite cleanse. I'd been watching a lot of natural health shows, who were talking about so many symptoms I had and said "Here is your problem--fungus."
Serious? I always had a feeling that some of what I was experiencing was related. But now I was finding out that pretty much EVERY health problem I've had through my life is related to one thing--my diet.
I'm a junk food addict. Proudly. Is it fried? Is it fake? Is it bread? Is it SUGAR? Gimmie. I want. I LOVE. As a child, I subsisted only on bologna, boxed mac n cheese and hot dogs. I was super fussy and also super skinny--my mom felt she had no choice. If I wouldn't eat it, she didn't make me. Sounds like a great start for a lifetime of bad habits, right? It was. Eventually I turned into a person who only ate chips, cheese, processed meats like bacon or salami, white bread and candy bars. Every meal was ended with dessert. Lots of it. Vegetables? Gross. Fruit, eh no thanks.
Needless to say, my digestive system was a mess. I suffered from IBS and Hypoglycemia, but it was manageable. Until I got off birth control. The sudden lack of synthetic hormones in my body threw it into a tailspin. It was the perfect storm for my bad eating habits to truly show what I had been doing to my body. But modern medicine had no answers. At one point, doctors questioned if I had thyroid disease. It was awful. Everyone was guessing and no one could help. One doctor wanted to do a scope because he wanted to know if I had celiac disease. But that cost $8,000 (or 20% of that for me--still outrageous). And then it started getting more disturbing--it started affecting my mind. I could forget things in seconds. I would stand in front of the fridge or in the middle of rooms for several minutes unable to remember why I was there. And memorizing dance routines? Forget it. Not to mention in the weakened, undernourished state my body was in it was impossible for me to keep up physically.
The doctors did have one answer for me, however. So this started when you got off birth control? Then get back on it.
Uh, what? Get back on the synthetic hormones that getting on and off started all this crap in the first place? No thanks!!! Not to mention the fact that we'd like to start a family. Taking birth control gets in the way of that, eh?
Traditional medicine, obviously, could not help me. So I turned to natural medicine. And a whole new world was opened to me that I never realized existed. A world in which, everything is connected. And you don't fix it with drugs from pharmaceutical companies.
In the last month, I've learned about olive leaf. Black walnut husk. Activated charcoal. And fungus, Candida yeast and parasites. I learned that when you eat products with yeast in them, well-what does yeast do? It expands. It expands in your body and causes inflammation and that in turn causes damage. And what feeds that yeast once it gets started? Sugar. Alcohol. Processed food. And what causes that yeast to just go gang busters, reeking havoc on your body? Oh...hormonal changes like getting off birth control.
Holy crap. Other symptoms of yeast due to bad diet? Excema. IBS. Hypoglycemia. Mental issues. Acne. Pretty much everything else I had. All this time, it was all connected.
At first I was very angry at doctors for not saying anything about this. Here I was, having digestive and endocrine issues and no one ever asked what my diet was!! (It was chocolate cake). But then I realized if I was going to fix it, I was going to have to treat myself.
Enter the cleanse. At first, it was scary, looking at that list. Pretty much the first thing on the list was NO SUGAR. Not even fruit. Nothing. Not one drop. Also, no processed food (chips, salami, deli meat), no alcohol, no bread, no yeast, no vinegar, no molds or fungus (cheese, mushrooms, most dairy), no fats that were solid at room temperature (ham, bacon, butter)--no to everything I lived on! My only food options were vegetables, legumes and lean meats like fish, chicken and beef.
It's amazing how many vegetables you can eat when the choice is eat vegetables or be sick. It's amazing how fast you can develop a taste for healthy food. I'm not saying it was easy. By the middle of the first day I wanted to break. I didn't know what I was doing. Not eat any of the food I loved? ANY of it? No chocolate? I can't do this. I can't. But I had to. Whenever I felt weak I thought of how sick I had been. That usually got me thinking healthy pretty quick.
It's now been 7 days. My stomach is better--not like it was before I got sick but I can tell that it's actually absorbing nutrients now and for 3 months it just flushed everything right out. I expect that if I did have a scope a doctor would say I was celiac. But in natural medicine, they don't call it that. And in natural medicine if you cleanse and let your body heal from the damage, then you can eat gluten again in moderation. It might be six months. But you can have it again.
Pretty much all of my other symptoms are gone too. I haven't had hypoglycemia issues--now I'm just hungry, not close to death. My skin has cleared up. It's stopped itching. I don't get exhausted after lunch. I'm not depressed. My lung issues aren't bothering me. I have more energy. I've lost seven pounds--and that's not from being sick. I knew something was wrong when I was so sick, and I didn't lose ANY weight. Now I'm feeling better and not eating junk and I'm losing weight without trying. Slowly, my brain is coming back to me. And my taste for bad food is pretty much gone. I tried to eat some cheese this weekend. It tasted like straight up mold. I had to eat vegetables to get the taste out of my mouth. Last night I made stir fry and it was delicious. A month ago if you had told me I would enjoy stir fry with only veggies, brown rice and beef, I would have told you where you could stuff those veggies.
I have also learned the joy of ethnic food--I've dined at Afghani and Ethiopian restaurants and they were wonderful. Most of the things they serve on their menus are things that are right in line with my diet and-surprise-they are delicious. Six months ago I wouldn't have touched an ethnic restaurant--I wouldn't even have drunk their water. I thought Applebee's was a safe place to eat. Now I know better.
Okay. One of my new blog resolutions was to make things shorter. Ooops. What I am saying is that if traditional doctors can't help you, don't think you're sunk. Keep searching yourself. Natural medicine is amazing. Your diet is affecting you more than you know. Go on a sugar fast. It's amazing how much better you will feel even after a short time. I can't wait to see how much better I feel in a month. Also, spend time praying to The Great Physician.
Good luck from a former sugar addict!
Hi! I haven't touched this blog in a year!
Eeek. It's been a year since I posted on here. There was all this me being unemployed and serious family emergencies keeping me otherwise occupied. So where have I been? Oh, around.
Last summer I wrote a few blogs about the Twins for my friend and former co-worker who started a website dedicated to Minnesota sports. I still do that, however lately just when I think I've got an article idea down--well--you may have been watching the Twins recently. You understand my inability to begin anything that doesn't start with "*!@$#@%^!!!!" or "wwhhhhaaaaaaa"
At the end of last summer we moved back to my honorary hometown in Minnesota, the suburb in St. Paul where I graduated from high school. For the first time I feel like I have a place that actually belongs to me!!! A place I am FROM!!! Probably only kids with missionary or military parents will understand what I mean. But it's been so great. Except when I want to go to the grocery store with no makeup and know that I will probably run into hundreds of people I know.
Then we got a puppy. 'Nuff said. If you want to know about her, read the about me section. I already talk about her too much. I will probably spend hours talking about her on here. I already talk about her constantly on my Facebook and Twitter. Right now she's even looking at me because she knows I'm typing about her. She's in my head.
Last fall, I got a job, the only job I could find in this horrible economy, as a hostess at a new restaurant. I won't say it was a mistake, because I met some cool friends and made pitiful money that did help us out of a few jams, but that place was awful. I was spoiled when I used to work in the restaurant business--I worked in a place where we all loved each other for the most part (usually too much, it was like an incestuous family, we'd all hooked up) so I figured this place would be similar. Well, not exactly. On the surface people liked each other pretty well, but under the surface most of them hated each other. The drama was enough to make your head spin. Worst of all, it's not doing well and will probably shut down soon. So the owner hated us. You can deal with a lot of people making you miserable and hating you, but when it's the owner? Well then you bail. I learned that lesson at my newspaper job where I stayed being miserable for 3.5 years. So I bailed on the hostess thing after six months.
So currently I'm a deadbeat again and looking forward to another summer of living in Three Lakes with the puppy. But this is different then last summer of being a deadbeat because this time I know about self-publishing for the Kindle, Nook, etc. This time, I don't have to worry about rejection from publishing houses (also dying like newspapers). This time, I write it, I publish it, and if you like it, buy it. If you don't, then don't. I will probably spend a lot of time on here whining about my writing issues. You were warned.
Last summer I wrote a few blogs about the Twins for my friend and former co-worker who started a website dedicated to Minnesota sports. I still do that, however lately just when I think I've got an article idea down--well--you may have been watching the Twins recently. You understand my inability to begin anything that doesn't start with "*!@$#@%^!!!!" or "wwhhhhaaaaaaa"
At the end of last summer we moved back to my honorary hometown in Minnesota, the suburb in St. Paul where I graduated from high school. For the first time I feel like I have a place that actually belongs to me!!! A place I am FROM!!! Probably only kids with missionary or military parents will understand what I mean. But it's been so great. Except when I want to go to the grocery store with no makeup and know that I will probably run into hundreds of people I know.
Then we got a puppy. 'Nuff said. If you want to know about her, read the about me section. I already talk about her too much. I will probably spend hours talking about her on here. I already talk about her constantly on my Facebook and Twitter. Right now she's even looking at me because she knows I'm typing about her. She's in my head.
Last fall, I got a job, the only job I could find in this horrible economy, as a hostess at a new restaurant. I won't say it was a mistake, because I met some cool friends and made pitiful money that did help us out of a few jams, but that place was awful. I was spoiled when I used to work in the restaurant business--I worked in a place where we all loved each other for the most part (usually too much, it was like an incestuous family, we'd all hooked up) so I figured this place would be similar. Well, not exactly. On the surface people liked each other pretty well, but under the surface most of them hated each other. The drama was enough to make your head spin. Worst of all, it's not doing well and will probably shut down soon. So the owner hated us. You can deal with a lot of people making you miserable and hating you, but when it's the owner? Well then you bail. I learned that lesson at my newspaper job where I stayed being miserable for 3.5 years. So I bailed on the hostess thing after six months.
So currently I'm a deadbeat again and looking forward to another summer of living in Three Lakes with the puppy. But this is different then last summer of being a deadbeat because this time I know about self-publishing for the Kindle, Nook, etc. This time, I don't have to worry about rejection from publishing houses (also dying like newspapers). This time, I write it, I publish it, and if you like it, buy it. If you don't, then don't. I will probably spend a lot of time on here whining about my writing issues. You were warned.
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