I never like these pages. They never really tell me what I want to know about people, and I usually have too much to say about myself to organize it into coherent thoughts. Hence why it's called RANDOM. Thanks, self diagnosed ADD.
Recently, I read an author bio and she said she "has a cat who prefers to remain anonymous." I like that. But I have two pets who could never possibly remain anonymous.
My ~1 year old rescued Maltipoo is Lily. She loves to "dance" and would never possibly let you not notice her. Abused at some point in her young life, she is blind in one eye but doesn't let that slow her down. Most people would never know she is a one-eyed dog, until she gets excited and crashes into a wall. And don't bother trying to play peek-a-boo on that side.
My cat just may prefer to remain anonymous, until she gets lonely. My husband likes to call her the Attention Whore. Whenever you don't want her in your face and crawling all over you--there she is. And like any good cat, when you want to cuddle with her, she takes off running.
I also have a husband. He will be your friend if you will talk to him. Actually, you don't have to talk to him. He'll still find things to say to you and make you his friend. In case you couldn't tell, he is in sales. Together, we are a bit nutty and often finish each other's thoughts. Also, we have our own secret language. It's like twins but with...benefits.
I am mostly from Three Lakes, Wisconsin. At least, it's the only place I've ever lived constantly, if only in the summers. I was born in Milwaukee, then lived in...deep breath...
Plymouth, Wi
Eau Claire, Wi
St. Paul, Mn
A horrible small town in western Wi
Minneapolis, Mn
AND...
back to St. Paul again. Whew!
Then there is the small matter of my career. I have a degree in graphic design but this was the early 2000's and I missed the web ship (this is me, waving to the boat as it pulls out of the harbor of my small college which never had money for the art department) and now am kind of a failure as a graphic designer because I only know print and when people throw out terms like CSS, Flash and Fireworks I scratch my head and say "yeah I know what those are, but the only thing I can do with Flash is create a red ball and make it bounce." Which, I suppose, is more than the average 14 year old can do with it... So my other careers have been--
Cook (at Dairy Queen, so putting burgers in fryer and fries in oil)
Catering manager (working my way up from sandwich artist at Panera Bread)
Senior graphic designer (at a dying newspaper)
Dance studio manager
Substitute dance teacher
Professional dance team auditioner
Deadbeat soap wrapper
Deadbeat
Twins blogger
Deadbeat
Hostess/Server at failing high class (they wish) restaurant
Deadbeat
Art teacher
Deadbeat!
In all those spaces where I'm a deadbeat, technically, I'm writing fiction. So I'm really a writer (fiction and Twins blogger), freelance graphic designer, dancer and artist. And I'm about to be an art teacher (very part time). But there were some of those deadbeats where I just sat on the couch, watching Full House reruns and eating Doritos.
There you go--try to wrap your head around that!
