In the last week, we've had some suprising things happen to us. I'm gonna say that I've always had trust issues with people, because I've been burned a lot.
This didn't really help.
Let me preface by saying that my family has been friends with these people for 24 years. They were like my relatives. Seriously. The girl in question was in my wedding last summer.
I kind of understand what happened, but not really. Not to the extent that it happened.
I should start at the beginning.
Six years ago, in the summer of 2003 (not one I remember fondly, but that's a different story) this girl and her sister were both engaged. Her sister got married that summer, her wedding was supposed to be the following summer. So we don't get confused, I'm going to call this girl Jane (not her real name). Jane had the whole wedding planning, done, but her fiance got cold feet (or something, he wasn't a very good guy) and called the whole thing off.
So she's been burned. A few years ago she met a new guy, they started dating, and volia, they're getting married this summer. He's been through a horrible divorce, she was through that called off engagement mess, so they should understand each other pretty well. And they do, from what I've heard. I haven't spent much time with them. Granted, he's not gorgeous like her other fiance. That guy was HOTT. Oh my word. But she said she loved him. So she asked my dad if he would do the wedding (he's a pastor.) We were all excited.
But then they meet last week for their marriage counseling. Granted, they supposedly already had marriage counseling. After what happened, I can't imagine it was very good. My dad didn't really say anything bad to them. He discovered that the fiance (we'll call him Bob) is a New Age whatchamcallit, while Jane and her family are Christian. He asked Jane privately if she knew about this, and she admitted she did (while she passed him off to her family as being a Christian). He thought that she was lowering her standards a lot, but he didn't say so. He asked her if she was okay with everything they talked about (he talked a lot about communication and if either of them thought that this marriage might not work they should back out now--but most decent marriage counselors say that. And if you freak out when you hear it than that should be a red flag!!) Jane said she was fine with everything they talked about. He asked her point blank if she was upset in any way. She said no. He thought she seemed fine. Then they left. As soon as they left she got completely hysterical, called her dad and said that my dad said horrible things and that she was about to cry the entire time because she was so mad and upset and embarassed.
Then her dad called my parents house and ranted and raved and said he'd call back when he wasn't so angry. He said that Jane had called him crying hysterically after the meeting and said what I just said in that last sentance of the last paragraph. Then he hung up on my mom.
We waited a week to get the final results from this. Finally last night Jane's dad talked to my dad. He said that Jane had spend three days crying because of the meeting and had terrible headaches because she was so upset. They'd found somone else to do the wedding, and they didn't want my parents there at all. So my dad said that my husband and I wouldn't be there either (I made that known right away, because I'm not going to have someone trash my parents and then show up at their wedding!!) and Jane's dad said, and I quote, "Spot on!" What the hell is that supposed to mean? Everyone related to our family has been disowned now? Seriously? He said the friendship has been terminated.
I don't understand how this can happen. How can you be that close to someone for so many years and then suddenly have them turn their back on you because their daughter is obviously NOT ready to get married???!!! Because we think it stems back to she is freaked out that she's going to be alone and she's afraid that this guy is going to leave her too, and she'll have nobody. Either that, or the relgion she's been apart of for the past 29 years suddenly means nothing to her so that she wants to marry someone who is totally oppisite of her faith. I'm just trying to understand here.
If you've been dating someone for 2+ years, you should know that they love you, right? You should know that so close to the wedding, nothing can happen that would make them change their mind. You should be secure in your relationship. You should be secure that no matter what is brought up or said, they'll stand by you.
Am I crazy here? Does it sound like she is completely not ready to get married? I mean, My God, 3 days crying? The wedding wasn't even called off. She's an actress by profession, but this stretches the limits of being a drama queen. And I had no idea after 24 years that she was a drama queen because she's never given me the impression that she was.
I talked to my boss (whoe is also one of my BFFs) about this, and she's like, that's ridicoulous. There is no way that girl should be getting married yet. She can't even handle that simple discussion!
So at least I can spend that weekend up north instead of at the wedding. Of course, as soon as that fire is put out, now I've got a coworker who is having some kind of strange mental breakdown illness, perhaps substance related....
My life is kind of a mess right now! So check back later.
Until tomorrow....
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